Dancing in the Shadows Page 17

  Rose Ruiz accepted Samantha’s presence in their midst without fuss, and with minimal explanation. She gave orders for a room to be prepared for the unexpected guest. Samantha made a token protest. ‘Are you sure it’s not too much of an imposition?’ At the same time she looked as if it would take a bulldozer to evict her before she’d spoken to Michael.

  Enrique Ruiz sought out his wife. ‘My Rose is wilting. There is nothing more to be done. Let us go to bed.’

  ‘Are you quite sure you are all right, Enrique? The strain hasn’t been too much for you?’

  ‘I’ve never felt fitter. If I can come through this night of shocks and feel like this, you must see how silly it is of you to worry about me.’

  ‘Indulge me, Enrique, you are so dear to me I can’t help worrying.’

  ‘No regrets?’

  ‘None. Enrique?’

  ‘Yes, querida ?’

  ‘I might worry about you less if you handed more of the running of the business over to Carlos. You do too much. And surely he’s proved his capability?’

  ‘Indubitably he has. It’s taken me a long time to come round to admitting it, but in the running of the business, and in other things, Carlos knows best.’

  Rose Ruiz knew it was the ‘other things’ that Enrique was mainly thinking about.

  She said: ‘You saw Dorcas kiss Carlos on the cheek. You didn’t mind?’

  He smiled. ‘I saw Isabel and Paco holding hands.’

  Rose Ruiz mentally hugged herself. ‘I saw that too.’

  ‘You know what it means, don’t you?’ His eyes were suspiciously shiny. ‘It means the debt is now paid in full. Gracias a Dios, we are not going to be asked to pay a second time. And now, amor de mi vida, come to bed.’

  The love of his life put her hand in his, and they turned towards the stairs.

  * * *

  Samantha was with Michael when the effects of the tranquillizer the doctor had administered wore off. True, he still looked gravely ill, but the smile he gave her was a heartwarmingly contented one.

  ‘Hello, Sam. Glad you’re here.’ Sincerity outstripped eloquence. Not even Samantha, with all her suspicions, could have doubted him.

  Her breath sucked in furiously. ‘I’m glad to be here. Go back to sleep love, if you want to. I’ll still be here when you wake up.’

  ‘That’s nice.’ So saying, he closed his eyes and fell into a natural, healing sleep.

  Samantha utilized the time by making plans. ‘I’m taking him home to meet my parents as soon as he’s fit enough to travel. He can get to know them while he’s recuperating. At the same time he can decide what he’s going to do with his life.’

  Obviously, with Samantha at the helm, Michael’s aimless drifting days were over. Dorcas felt happy about this; at peace. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this easy in her mind about her brother.

  Samantha was so precisely right for him. She’d always thought he would settle down with a fragile beauty to complement his own special looks, and they would spend their lives getting out of one pretty pickle after another. Samantha was neither fragile, nor beautiful. Not even pretty. But there was a sturdy, glossy wholesomeness about her that was most attractive. She had depth of character. Her smile didn’t merely charm her lips, but warmed her whole face. She was older than Michael, and made no secret of the fact that she had been considering dusting the shelf when he came along. Yet there was no question of her having grabbed a ‘last chance’. She idolized him, faults and all.

  Carlos was not so impressed. When Dorcas said: ‘Isn’t she lovely?’ he wrinkled his nose and replied: ‘Much too bossy for my taste.’

  Dorcas wondered how he of all people dare say that. Not one word to this effect crossed her lips, but the look she darted him was based on this thought.

  He interpreted it well. Using that smug, intolerably overbearing tone that made her teeth feel as though they were being brushed with sandpaper, he said: ‘That trait is acceptable, even desirable in a man.’

  This conversation was taking place in the library, the one room where they had a fair chance of being undisturbed. When Carlos increased the odds in favour of this by going over and closing the door, Dorcas knew it was time for that promised talk.

  She both welcomed it and dreaded it.

  ‘Do you find me impossibly arrogant?’ he asked.

  ‘No.’

  Somehow she knew that wasn’t the most vital issue. She might fight his attitude and insist she would dance to no man’s tune, but it was the other thing she didn’t properly understand that wouldn’t let them harmonize.

  He said, getting to the crux of the matter, ‘We haven’t got the balance right. We tip too easily into misunderstanding.’

  She nodded. ‘I feel so confused.’

  ‘Please don’t look so worried.’

  He reached out a hand in comfort, his fingers cherished the contours of her face. It was such a protective captivity that her bones melted in delight. His cheek rested briefly against hers, then she felt her chin being tilted. His face blurred before her eyes. She would never know how she managed to find the will to tear her mouth from the proximity of his, but the kiss that would have brooked no holding back on her part was averted.

  ‘No, Carlos. Not this way, with nothing resolved. Don’t you see, I’ve got to understand?’

  ‘I’m sorry. I don’t normally believe in taking short cuts, but this time it seemed a better choice than going the long way round. We have a habit of coming up against hazards.’

  She had noticed.

  He leaned his chin on his hands, looking cool, English, and unruffled. Perversely, she preferred the hotheaded Spaniard. She wished she hadn’t deflected him.

  ‘I don’t know where to start,’ he said.

  ‘The beginning?’ she suggested.

  ‘The beginning was all right. There were problems, yes. But none that I couldn’t get a grip of. The moment I saw you, when you gatecrashed my parents’ anniversary tea, I knew I wanted to know you better. You were terribly upset because you’d mistaken a private villa for a public tea garden. Short of nailing you to the chair, I couldn’t stop you from going. As the roads were blocked because of the landslide, your only means of escape was by train, and it just so happened that my sister was planning to go home on the next train that was due out. So I knew there was more than a chance of seeing you again. You kept well hidden on the platform. I didn’t spot you until the last possible moment when you slipped on to the train. My sister, Feli, had seen you earlier when you wandered into our garden by mistake. She’d already pulled my leg about my being taken with you, so all it needed was a word in her ear to ensure her full cooperation. But why are you looking so surprised? You surely didn’t think that it was coincidence that made Feli sit opposite you on an almost empty train?’

  ‘Well . . . I realize how stupid I must seem . . . but yes! Wait a minute, though, Feli didn’t recognize me straight away.’

  ‘I’ve no idea how she played it. I told her to go easy so as not to scare you off.’

  ‘Feli asked me to stay with her for part of my holiday. Are you saying she didn’t ask me on impulse, but that she was following your instructions?’

  ‘I wasn’t twisting her arm, you know. Feli would have enjoyed using you. You would have earned your keep acting as unpaid nursemaid to my small niece. No, I’m not being fair. Feli loves company. But, when you turned her down, she didn’t press the issue. And, well, you know what happened then.’

  ‘Yes. Part of the mountainside crumbled to block the railway track and the train ran into an avalanche of rock and earth and sludge.’

  ‘When word got back I nearly went out of my mind. I felt as if I’d wished this terrible thing on you. Before that it had been a rather pleasant game. You were on holiday, I was at a loose end; it had all the makings of an amusing interlude. Then suddenly it turned into this tragic reality. When I first came to sit with you in hospital it was to make amends. It could no longer be an amus
ing interlude, and I had no wish for a deeper involvement. I hadn’t reckoned with . . . well . . . you can’t be with someone all these hours, hurt for them, feel for them, without feeling something yourself. I wasn’t looking too far into the future just then. We had gone through a very emotional period together; for the time being I was just satisfied to be taking you home.’

  Realization came in a rush. ‘And I couldn’t have made it plainer that I didn’t want to come home with you.’

  ‘I remember your very words. You said, “I am not returning with you voluntarily to your home. Circumstance has put me in the invidious position of having no alternative.” ’

  ‘Did I say that? I didn’t mean . . .’

  ‘I could have been taking you to a prison for all the joy on your face. I wanted to wipe that trapped look from your eyes, but how could I when I was responsible for keeping you against your will? Then again, what alternative did I have? Nobody was trying to repay you for what you did for Feli and Rosita, because there’s no price to be put on that. You were hurt and alone, but even if you’d had an army of relatives I’d still have fought for the privilege. Believe me, I wanted to take care of you.’

  ‘Oh. . . Carlos. . . don’t. I can’t . . . bear . . .’

  ‘Hush, I didn’t mean to distress you. Proud and stubborn you might be, but the tenderness of your heart has never been in dispute. Dorcas, please don’t let anyone, least of all me, tie any more knots in your emotions. At first I thought it was because you were alone in a strange country. I moved heaven and earth to get your brother here, because I thought his presence would give you the necessary anchor, the illusion of home. I still think that theory was right as far as it went, it didn’t go far enough that’s all. You need to sort out your feelings with your feet firmly planted on the ground. Home ground, if you like. Would you like to go home?’

  ‘Home?’ Dorcas echoed stupidly. For a long time now, longer than she realized, home wasn’t England. Home was here with Carlos.

  ‘I haven’t quite made up my mind whether I am being self-sacrificing about this, or selfish. I do know it’s a situation that calls for patience. I refuse to burden a decision of this magnitude on a small emotional yes, and I’m not going to risk a no. So you can relax. You’re not going to be rushed or made to do anything against your will.’

  He was wrong. He was proposing to send her home. That was against her will.

  ‘I’m sorry, Carlos. I didn’t mean to appear rude and ungrateful.’

  She had never meant to throw his kindness back in his face, but that’s how it must have looked to him. No wonder he wanted to be rid of her. Oh! he’d wrapped it up in kind words, but the message was clear. Her seeming ingratitude had cost her dearly. It had lost her Carlos. The sun must have been in her eyes for her not to see that loving is caring and giving. She knew that had it been the other way round, if she had been the fortunate one, she would have wanted to give everything she had to Carlos. She had made it plain she wanted nothing from him. And so, because of her stupidity, he would never give her the one thing she wanted most of all. That priceless gift that had to be offered by him to have any meaning . . . the gift of love.

  ‘It’s all settled then. I’ll make the arrangements.’

  The words begging him not to send her away remained locked in that block of ice she called her throat.

  She felt the brush of his lips against her cheek. When she looked up, he had gone.

  * * *

  ‘Dorcas, what are you doing hiding in here on such a lovely day? I was quite convinced you’d gone for a walk, otherwise I would have fetched you to pay your respects to Isabel’s mama. She’s gone now, of course.’

  After answering Rose Ruiz’s smile—and a very self-satisfied smile it was at that—Dorcas said: ‘I’d no idea she was here. Was Isabel with her?’

  ‘No, doña Maria came alone. We had quite a long and illuminating chat. I knew she hadn’t come solely to enquire after your brother. All the same, I was more than a little surprised at what she had to tell me.’ Her mouth curved. She looked girlishly smug in her appreciation of what had transpired.

  Impulsively she said: ‘It’s too delicious not to share, and it will be common knowledge soon enough anyway. Even so, I wouldn’t discuss something so private if I didn’t consider you one of the family. And in this I speak for both Enrique and myself. Well—!’

  And before Dorcas could blink her gratification away, she plunged into her story. ‘As you know, Paco took Isabel home. According to doña Maria, instead of leaving her at the door, he went in for the confrontation. He didn’t ask for Isabel’s hand in marriage, doña Maria said he demanded it. Don Alfonso looked angry enough to strike him. Isabel began to cry. Doña Maria said she didn’t know what to do. Bearing in mind that she is very Spanish, and has spent her entire life first echoing the thoughts and wishes of her father and then her husband, it must have taken a great deal of courage for her to speak up for the young lovers. I must admit she did this in an intriguing and subtle way. You won’t understand all this, Dorcas. Until you know the full story it can’t possibly make sense. All I ask is that you hear me out and I promise to fill in the blanks later. Anyway, doña Maria drew in a deep breath and said, “Alfonso, are we in a position to condemn them? It has come full circle, only this time the shame is ours.” And then she said, “Can you look into your heart and honestly say that you would change what happened all those years ago?” And he replied with tears in his eyes, “No, my dear. You quickly allayed any doubts I might have had by letting me know exactly where I stood with you. I might not have been first choice but it wasn’t long before I occupied first place in your heart”.’ Rose Ruiz sighed. ‘Don’t you find that just too touching, Dorcas?’

  Dorcas, who was having difficulty in swallowing, merely nodded.

  ‘What could don Alfonso add to that moving little speech except his blessing to the young couple. Then he got to worrying that it might stop the merger between our two family concerns. So doña Maria came to ask me to help square things with Enrique and Carlos. As I told doña Maria, Enrique could hardly put up a protest in the circumstances. Have patience, Dorcas, you’ll soon appreciate the irony of it, but I’m afraid all this talk has made me thirsty.’

  And so curiosity had to be held in check while tea was brought.

  Dorcas wondered if Rose Ruiz’s need to occupy her hands with the tea things wasn’t greater than her desire for liquid refreshment. The telling wasn’t easy and circumnavigated the main issue until it didn’t seem part of the same story.

  ‘It was silly of us to be wary of you, wasn’t it, Dorcas? We should have settled back and let time take its own course.’

  Was it apparent even to his mother that Carlos had lost interest in her? And wasn’t it just a little cruel of Rose Ruiz to highlight this fact? Yet, search as she might Dorcas saw no intent to hurt in the older woman’s eyes, and she heard only the voice of candour.

  ‘Now that the worry aspect has been removed, I don’t mind admitting that your arrival stirred the memories, and the guilt. Enrique and I never should have married. Don’t misunderstand me. It’s been a wonderful marriage, a perfect partnership. It needed to be to survive. Like Carlos, Enrique was pledged to marry the daughter of a family friend and business colleague. He shocked everyone by not marrying her, and marrying me instead. The girl didn’t love Enrique, and I suspect she was even glad to be released from a “suitable” marriage. Those immediately concerned retained a sense of proportion. It was the outsiders who created the fuss. So, perhaps now you see why we were wary of you. It looked as though it was going to happen all over again. Having lived through it once, we knew the difficulties you would face.’

  All this coincided with the things don Enrique had told her that time in his study. Dorcas knew that Rose Ruiz was taking the confidence a step further. Something about to be revealed to her would tie everything up.

  ‘Perhaps I’m being imaginative, but it’s almost as if you were looking to a marria
ge between Carlos and Isabel to put things right. This I don’t understand.’

  ‘It’s not imaginative of you at all, Dorcas. It’s very perceptive. And you will understand when you know the name of the girl Enrique should have married.’

  In the pause that followed, Dorcas gathered her wits and was stirred to make a second observation. ‘You speak as though it’s someone I know.’

  ‘It is. Haven’t you guessed? It’s Isabel’s mama. That’s what makes it so ironic. Enrique broke his engagement to Maria to marry me, severely straining, almost severing it seemed at one point, a family friendship that had been handed down from generation to generation. And now the boot is on the other foot. Seemingly, Isabel is jilting Carlos to marry Paco. As Carlos never intended to marry Isabel in the first place, this time we have come out of it remarkably well.’

  ‘I see it all now, but I would never have guessed. I didn’t suspect anything like this. You never let it make any difference. You were always so kind to me. It makes me feel unworthy. No, please—’ When Rose Ruiz would have stopped her. ‘You must let me finish. I didn’t realize, until it was pointed out to me recently, that I might have appeared ungrateful. I am grateful to you for having me and showing me so much kindness.’

  ‘My dear, I find your confession both sweet and touching, and totally unnecessary. I understand you far better than you think. You can’t help being as you are any more than Michael can help being as he is. I have no doubt your grandmother was a wise woman in many ways, but she had her blind spots. She didn’t do either of you any good by always putting Michael first. No, nobody told me this.’—Answering Dorcas’s look of surprise. ‘Who is there to tell? It’s just obvious, that’s all. I can’t see much hope for Michael. Like every other besotted female he’s come across, and that doesn’t exclude me, Samantha will want to spoil him. He could charm a smile out of stone, that one. He’ll always be liked, in spite of his shortcomings. And I’m not all that worried about you. You haven’t had a fair crack at life. The man you marry is going to have a lot of fun making it up to you.’